Eat your heart out, Martha!

Self portrait

2006-02-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

This is a self portrait using a xeroxed photo, a few different kinds of paper, needle and thread, ink, charcoal, water color pencil and maybe some other stuff. I think it looks like something someone in junior high would draw, but I pretty much like it.

2006-02-12T20:02:00.000-08:00

I've still been making ATCs... here is one of the latest ones.

Captain, oh my captain!

2006-02-12T19:55:00.000-08:00

I am matting and framing this to give to my boyfriend, James, (AKA Captain Jim) for Valentine's Day. I just stuck his face on someone else's body, all old fashioned cut and paste style.

2006-01-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

I think I look forward to the new year mostly because it means I made it through another holiday season. This one went by without too much stress and I made out like a bandit.

Besides all the wonderful gifts, my boyfriend paid for me to get a new tattoo(s) on New Year's Eve, which I will post a picture of as soon as they quit being all scabby. And if that didn't make New Year's Eve great enough, I got to spend it with six of my favorite people.

I've still been sick, so I really haven't been up to much other than reading, a bit of drawing, movie going and spending lost of time with my boyfriend while he was on vacation.

I made a new batch of ATC's, which include a new Bat Boy card in my series. The quote in the one with the fingers is by Mel Brooks and goes, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you fell in an open sewer and die."

I'm not much of a rubber stamp person, but I could not resist ordering some from www.stampo.com They have Bat Boy stamps! And Divine stamps! I just got my package today, so I can attest to the fact that they have fast shipping, too.

Leaves me alone!

2005-12-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

Sheesh. Things seem crazy busy lately. The internet kind of scares me because I see it as a big black hole of lost time.

I have a blister on the bottom of my foot from doing toe-heel-swivel barefoot on the hardwood floor! I'm up to my eyeballs in yarn, trying to finish X-mas gifts! That is if you could see me past the mountain of packages I've been wrapping.

I realized recently that the things I started doing to relax and unwind (dancing, crocheting, knitting, making mail art and ATCs) have sort of morphed into something else, and now they are PART OF THE PROBLEM. And the problem is that there is never enough time in the day.

So, to escape the stress of my other hobbies, this month I decided I should take a drawing class. You know, because it sounded so relaxing. And also because I CAN'T DRAW! Seriously, the last time I took an art class was my freshmen year of high school (17 years ago!) and I was so stoned that year... I don't even remember it. So I scribble like a kindergarten reject, it is true. Anyway, I've only been to three drawing classes and guess what? I'm already stressed out about it. The first class was great, I loved it. Two classes later I am banging my head on the table and wondering WHY CAN'T I DRAW A FREAKIN LEAF?

Of course, drawing a leaf is a problem not only of proportion and shading, but of my dislike for nature. I admit it, if you know me you know it is true, I have issues with NATURE--especially LEAVES. I like deserts and oceansides--places that do not have leaves. Drawing a leaf shortly after having to rake 20 bags of leaves out of my driveway is not relaxing. LEAVES ARE THE ENEMY!

I am afraid to tell my drawing teacher about the problem with me and leaves. I don't think she would understand. Yesterday I decided to forget about the Enemy Leaves. So I drew something that makes me happy--my friend, the shoe...

I feel better now.

2005-12-07T19:12:00.000-08:00

ATCS- I haven't really been doing much in the way of Artist Trading Cards lately, but here are the latest. I did find a new trading community that looks promising: ATCards. And I found out I will soon be getting some cemetery themed cards from a swap I participated in MONTHS ago. It seems that the woman who hosted the swap has a home based business and an employee was stealing her mail and taking it home. The police confiscated the mail, which included hundreds of cemetery themed Artist Trading Cards and held them as evidence before releasing them. What a scandal.

Mail Art

2005-12-06T17:27:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I posted my info at this website called PostcardX. It's just random people around the world sending each other random stuff. Remember snail mail? Yeah, it's pretty cool stuff.

Recently I got this great Fabio postcard from Jami in Michigan:

She has no way of knowing how obsessed I used to be with Fabio-- to the point of writing a song about him. A really cheesy song. But you can't really write any other kind of song about Fabio, can you?

I also got an envelope full of cool art bits from Solamito in Italy this week. Here's one card:

Besides getting fun mail, I'm still on the mad organizing spree. I can see my sewing table, bedroom floor and writing desk again. I've missed them. Plus: Making ATCs, throwing a dinner party, X-mas gift knitting, drawing, updating my website (www.eyhom.com) and homeschooling.

2005-11-30T21:06:00.000-08:00

Dance class, homeschool, art class, X-mas shopping. That's what I've been doing. And while I was out shopping, I came across these "Bad Bear Club" figures in a 50 cent machine and instantly became obessed. I kept feeding quarters into the machine, but it seems I can only get the same figure in different colors, even though the display on the machine claims there are 36 different characters. Argh! I've googled high and low and there doesn't seem to be a peep anywhere about these adorable little bits of plastic that I desire. There must be others out there....??

Nesting and Numbness

2005-11-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

I've really been into feathering my nest lately. I guess it is the cold weather causing me to suddenly want to cozy up the house and *gasp* decorate for the holidays. I woke up the other day with the intense urge to purchase a X-mas tree. Right now I am waiting for a 5' aluminum tree to come from West Elm , but in the meantime my friend Sam and I constructed a creepy little dead tree from branches we found in the cemetery across the street and adorned it with the Skull and Heart ornaments I made a few winters past. You can find instructions for those here . I'll post some pictures of the X-mas trees and stuff later. I know you can't wait!

In the meantime, here are some photos of stuff I hung up on the dining room wall this weekend:

These are some of my favorite ATCs I've received over the past few months.

This drawing was given to us by our dear friend, Kevin Smith.

This one has been hanging on my kitchen wall for quite some time now, but I thought it I'd throw it in for good measure:

This painting was done by my good friend and former band mate, Chris Martin. The lighting is pretty bad on that wall, but the painting says, "COFFEE". Ignore the diamonds I haven't finished painting in the background, please.

Finally, here is a Noro scarf I crocheted awhile back. I planned on giving it away, but I'm getting sort of attached to it.

It seems like our family is doomed to all kinds of health hazards this fall. Besides my bout with infections, my housemate Dave got a really nasty cut on the end of his thumb that almost wacked the top of that sucker off. And this morning my boyfriend got his hand stuck in a piece of machinery at work. Luckily nothing is broken, but right now he can't feel anything below the wrist. We won't know for awhile if he has nerve damage or the numbness is simply from swelling. This is really scary in itself, but considering that he is a guitar player (a drummer and pianist, too) this could be devastating. I've been in a terrible funk all day.

With that said, dance practice should be interesting tonight. There aren't a lot of moves we can do with a one handed lead.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-26T10:42:00.000-08:00

Sheesh. What a beautiful holiday. It is kind of unreal how lovely things have been. I think with all the stress and sickness I've sort of forgotten what "leisure" means. But I've been feeling fine, the weather has been great, my boyfriend has had four entire days off of work in a row--this is unheard of.

We've been doing yard work, taking the kid to some parks, laying around in bed reading, having pillow fights... just living in domestic bliss. We spent Thanksgiving here at home, just the three of us.

After my son released some of the balloons from the doggy birthday party last week, he got the idea to attach messages to some balloons, so on Thanksgiving morning the boys launched The Black Balloon Project. They wrote a bunch of silly notes like:
"Do you like monkeys? If so, e-mail theblackballoons@hotmail.com"
"This is a magic balloon. Make a wish and send it to theblackballoons@hotmail.com"
"Worried about bird flu? E-mail theblackballoons@hotmail.com"

It helps that we have a 5 foot tall tank of helium in our shed. I'm not naming any names, but some friends acquired this tank of helium on a dumpster diving expedition the summer before last and I took possession of it because they were planning to get in a small closet with it and open the valve. Can we say "asphyxiation", class? Talk about a stupid way to die.

Anyway, here are some pictures of The Black Balloon Project in action:

Afterwards we went to feed the notoriously aggressive geese at a local park. I think it was last year that a woman broke her arm trying to escape them. Seriously.

My first art class went really well. The class is small and taught by this very, very soft spoken woman named Constance. We sat at big fold out tables and I felt like a little kid with a fresh box of crayons and a new coloring book. I was completely lulled by the quiet atmosphere, free of distrations, and worked for an hour and a half without noticing the time. That was better than any therapy session, for sure.

I've spent today framing some of my favorite ATCs and organizing my digital photo albums. Next I will tackle my yarn stash and do some weeding. I've been such a wreck lately! But when you see me getting all ultra-organized, it is profound. I'm a god carefully hanging the stars in my universe.

2005-11-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

Long time, no post. Yes, yes, I am still alive! Clap your hands, dance in your seat, it is an amazing thing. Really.

My Crazy Person status is sealed, I guess. I had a birthday party for my dogs! Luckily they both have November birthdays, so this will only be a once a year show of out-and-out insanity. Roxy is the beauitful black and white mutt on the top who turned three, and Tokyo is the little black fuzz ball poodle on the bottom. He turned one. And yeah, besides dressing him up, we sport matching red streaks in our hair. Unfortunately the camera batteries crapped out during the gift opening segment of their party.

Sheesh, a lot has happened since I quit blogging/journaling online. I took a weird trip to New Mexico and camped at White Sands National Monument. Check out the pictures on the site... it is an amazing place. We were there during the full moon and walking around on the white dunes at night feels like walking on the moon. With gravity, of course. I also fulfilled my curiosity about the oddly named town of Truth or Consequences. I had no expectations, but I really fell in love with the place. I could write tons about it, but I think I'd just like to buy a trailer or ramshackle house there someday. Then I'll tell you all about it.

You know what sucks about being Bi-Polar? (Ooops, my shrink tells me not to say I "am" Bi-Polar but rather that I "have" Bi-Polar Disorder. Yeah, she is a real piece of work.) Anyway, the thing that sucks is how totally predictable my cycles are, and yet it still knocks me on my ass year after year. I get manic by mid-summer and by the end of the season I crash and burn. Years ago this meant spending the entire winter season in depression, but I'm doing better with it. I'm med-free now and I'm finally gettting the urge to write, make art, return to dance class, etc. I'm even starting a new art class tomorrow, despite the constant physical lethargy I've had.

Which brings me to the other reason I haven't really been updating my blog and stuff. I learned a really valuable lesson this last month. When I feel a bladder infection brewing, I will call the doctor right away. Oh yes, I will. See, I kept telling myself it wasn't that bad, that I'll call in a couple of days. Then there was the morning I woke up feeling like my crotch was on fire and I waddled to the telephone, crying. Apparently there isn't any discernable progression with those things... it hurts and then IT HURTS REALLY FUCKING BAD. So I had a pretty nasty infection and I thought I was on my way to wellness...

Then I turned 31 and ended up in the E.R. on my birthday because I couldn't take a full breath without excruciating pain. Pneumonia. What the !?!?

Oh, and between the bladder infection and pneumonia, I spent a week in pain from weilding a pick axe trying to dig a trench in this rocky as hell Arkansas soil. See? This is why I haven't been updating. I sound like an old lady with a laundry list of complaints. There has been other stuff, but I'll spare you all.

So that's where I've been and I'm getting back on track.

2005-09-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

I went to the fair today.

2005-09-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Me, at Shores Lake on Labor Day. Worn out and dirty after a night of stomping through mud and dancing around the fire. That tattoo is my newest. It is actually a cover up of another heart that had an empty banner. The banner now says "My Boys" which refers to my son (Kyle), my boyfriend/co-parent (James), and best friend/co-parent (Dave). On a day to day basis, you will hear me refer to them as "the boys" rather than "my boys" but I thought the tattoo should be a little more sentimental than that!

2005-09-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

The #1 best thing ever: The Tiny Terrors from Little Rock Arkansas!! That's Dakota on Guitar and Logan on Bass, but she is raddest when she is singing and dancing all over the stage. The #2 best thing ever: I got my DSL back!

2005-07-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post about the poodle from craft hell for awhile now. I first saw this poodle months ago at a local thrift store and thought to myself, "My god, that has to be the worst craft I've ever seen!" It has been crocheted over a 2 liter soda bottle and seems to have no apparent purpose. Months went by and it just sat there on the top shelf.

I admit that I started to feel sorry for it. I have a soft spot for hand crafted objects--so much so that I once bought an ugly sweater from the same thrift store because it was obviously hand knitted. It was probably a gift from someone's grandma, made with lots of love but zero taste. I wear it to sleep in sometimes.

Anyway, I finally caved in and bought the pitiful poodle. I was ashamed to do it, though, and took my friend Liz with me for courage. The thing didn't even have a price tag on it, so the clerk came up with a dollar as a fair price. Liz took the photo you see here.

So the poodle hung around my house for a few days until I tried to pawn it off on poor Liz, but somehow the damn thing showed up on my doorstep less than an hour later. Hmmm. At that point I realized I was stuck with it...unless...I could make the poodle desirable. A prize poodle!

And so I cut a hole in his back, filled him with goodies, and took him to our weekly Stitch N Bitch. Now it is a game of pass the poodle, with the "winner" having the honor of taking the poodle home for a week or two. But if you stick some pretty yarn inside a 20 pound bundle of dynamite, you can guarantee one of these girls will take it home.

Oh, and if you don't believe how very in to yarn these people are, get this: Liz was able to determine the era this poodle was made in (1980's) because she recognized the type of yarn used for it and what company produced it.

2005-07-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite ATC that I've made lately. Mr. Chops is going away in the mail today.

I'm tired and I haven't been eating well lately.

Today I have nothing to do but go to the post office and talk to my tattoo guy.

If all goes well I'll be hitting up the yarn store in Fayetteville tomorrow. I need some special yarn to make things for special people.

This week I've mostly been reading, making ATCs, babysitting and eating crappy food. I will admit that my house doesn't smell the best right now. That happens when you live with two dogs and three boys. I bought a lot of bleach and other weapons this morning. I will fight the good fight.

Next week my boyfriend and I will start taking dance classes. I found a place that gives private lessons, teaching just about anything you would want to learn. I'm super excited and my boyfriend is equally frightened. He looks positively alarmed when I try to dance with him, which means for years I've been putting him on the spot to get that reaction, but it is just not funny anymore. Time to learn how to dance, punk.

2005-06-30T01:11:00.000-07:00

I just realized it has been 20 days since I updated this thing! That is far too long, my friends.

I swear, I am obsessed with ATCs. Below are some new ones, including a couple that feature photos from my I-Zone. I have sent SO MANY cards off in trades, and it just occurred to me that I should be scanning all of them, or at least making color copies of them. It would be nice to have some documentation of the madness.

I've started my x-mas knitting/crocheting stuff. First order of business is a stripey scarf for my color blind friend, Chris.

Other stuff I'm busy with includes reading 3 books and listening to 1 audio book...that has been slow going. It is hard for me to sit down and read these days.

My friend Marie turned me on to another list making site...www.backpackit.com
It is more practical and organized for actual to-do list stuff than www.43things.com, but of course 43 Things is nice due to the community element. The thing I like about backpackit is that you can get text message reminders (or e-mail, if you prefer) of stuff, you just set the date and time of day you want the reminder. I have my first reminder set for tomorrow so we'll see how that goes.

I'm really sleepy, but I swear, I am going to start posting here more often. I have some pictures of play-dough things my son made that I promised him I would post on the internet.

2005-06-10T19:25:00.000-07:00

I finished my Amy Sedaris stencil today! The design, anyway. I have yet to cut it up and decorate anything with it. You can see the original photo below. I'm bummed that I had to lose the spiderweb tattoo, but there wasn't much I could do about that. For making stencils from photos, I make a high contrast version on the computer, print it out, and then sit down with a Sharpie marker and a bottle of white out and work it out that way. I'll be putting a full size version of the stencil on my website when I get around to updating.

2005-06-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

The sick has been creeping back up on me, making it hard to get things done. Yesterday I went to the garden center and shopped for plants based on smell. I came home with a Hibiscus tree, a Honeysuckle vine, and a pot of Star Jasmine, which is the heavenliest of them all. I have so many abandoned projects right now that I don't know where to start...so I have just been making up new stuff to do. Like that is going to help! Anyway...today was a good mail day. My favorite piece of mail contained these three cards by Texas artist Stacey Weaver:

2005-06-06T22:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in this blog in so darn long! This is supposed to be the place I track my crafty endeavors, mostly, and there has been nearly none of that. You would think being sick in bed would lend itself to some crocheting or something, but that has just not been the case since just staying awake with my head held upright has taken considerable effort. I'm pretty bummed about my lack of output, but I have a hot date with my sewing machine tomorrow morning. We're gonna make some summer skirts.

The only thing I have felt like doing is making ATCs. I'm kinda addicted to these mini collage things. I've been making themed sets for swaps, but here and there I've done some random ones, as seen in the picture.

I've made a couple of minor updates to my site, as well, and I'm stoked that my Hookers Have More Fun stencil and Cult of Knit rant appears in the summer issue of CrochetMe in the "Reviews and Other Remarkable Stuff" section.

Postal Woes

2005-05-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

I have a big stack of mail on my desk that needs to go out. I always dread going to the post office. While I love the mail carrier that brings mail to my house, the post masters and mistresses at the office scare me! It occurred to me that I view them as authority figures--in part because they work for the guvvamint. They are THE MAN. They wear uniforms! And the rest of the reason they scare me is because they are just so mean and hateful--why, why, why? Honestly, it doesn't seem like such a bad job to me. Why are they so angry? I sort of have a theory that it is because people hardly ever send good mail. Just bills and bad news and the poor postal workers soak up all that negative energy from handling the mail all day. Anyway, another reason I don't like them is that they always challenge my attempts to mail things book rate. I know the book rate rules forward and backward by now, and every time (no matter what post office or what state I am in) they always hassle me about it. And they always give me this look like they don't believe me when I say what is in the package! You know, how they raise the one eyebrow and cock their heads to the side, as if to say, "Oh, really?" Do they learn that at post master school? Okay, enough. I'm going to the post office. But look what I found! Mr. McFeely Coloring Page

2005-05-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

Look, it is Amy making cupcakes in her apartment. I love her place, even though it has Todd Oldham written all over it. Is it creepy that I imagine walking around her apartment and reading the titles of the books on her shelf or seeing what she keeps in her bathroom? Yeah. It is creepy.

2005-05-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

Good fucking god, ya'll.

Between this crazy heat and taking muscle relaxers for my back pain, I'm finding it hard to move much.

I have spent the day working on my webpage and messing around with things of little consequence. I scanned in all the pages of another issue of my zine and I've decided that my next zine will be done in such a way that it will be turned into a PDF before it is even printed. It loses way too much quality the way I'm doing it now and scanning in all those pages is a real drag, on top of it all. I do like being able to have it online, for free, though.

Yesterday I started making some ATCs. Just something little to do with my hands. If you don't know what they are, here is a good explanation: Art In Your Pocket. And here is one that I made:

I've been looking online for coloring pages. One of the things I like to do to relax is color! Ahh, the smell of crayons. Seriously, I have to keep my hands busy or I will die. Just like a shark has to keep swimming. So I find all kinds of ridiculous things to do. Anyway, I like these coloring pages: Bistro Sinstro Activity Pages.

And these Recipe Cards to print and cut out are cute.

This Crochet Lab site is interesting. I am looking forward to future reports.

And The Backseat Kiss is a fun website to waste time at. I like their cocktail recipes.

2005-05-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Plates! A few months ago I was at a thrift store and I found one of these little plates and fell in love with it. The back is not marked or anything, so my search for more like it has been futile. And then yesterday I ran across 6 smaller plates like it and two small, shallow bowls! I'm convinced now that if I just go to more thrift stores I will eventually have an entire set.

2005-05-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

A shawl that I mostly made in the car on the way to Hot Springs. Sure, it looks really simple, but considering the way Chris drives, you have no idea what an amazing feat this was. The pattern called for tassles along the right and left sides, which I added and then promptly removed. Just because you can make tassles and fringe with yarn doesn't mean you should. I mean, I can make a pipe out of an ordinary potato and smoke a load of pot laced with PCP in it, but I don't. Seek moderation in all areas of life, including crafts.

2005-05-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

The first granny squares I ever made, stitched together to form a hobo bag. Apparently people with some class prefer to call these "motifs" rather than granny squares. Eh.

2005-05-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight we are driving to Hot Springs to see the Fluffgirl Burlesque show. It looks like I won't be allowed to take any pictures, according to the rules of conduct. Fluffgirl Burlesque Society Apparently there is a topless barber shop in Hot Springs. I personally don't need the services of a barber, but maybe I can talk somebody else into getting a trim.

2005-05-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day...

I actually had two Mother's Days this year since Dave and James had convinced each other that last weekend was the big day. So I got gifts and treated to dinner then. Today we took a trip to the country so I could spend the day with my mother. I made her a pair of crocheted slippers--which she loved--got a new wind chime for her collection and filled up a bag with a variety of chocolate. We spent time just talking and walking through the garden. It had rained in the moring, so the garden was all wet and sparkly...beautiful. My folks have a lot of finches, doves, and pigeons and the mating season is on. I got to hold a baby dove, the first arrival. The nests are all full...many more are on the way.

Then I took my son out on some back roads for his first driving lesson. He has been anxiously awaiting this day for the last two years, so he was beyond thrilled. I was trying to be a good teacher but I couldn't stop laughing. I just couldn't get over the fact that I was riding down the road with my baby driving. We stopped here and there and walked around, breathing in all that good air and picking armloads of wildflowers. I had a lovely day.

2005-04-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

Posted today in LiveJournal's Crochet community. God, I'm glad I found that group.

2005-04-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

From Friday April 22. NoMeansNo in OKC. I have bruises all over my legs and my throat is still sore from screaming along. I can't believe it has been 16 years since I first saw these guys play.

2005-04-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

Taken from my front door this morning. Apparently one of the residents across the road is moving?? I've been watching this thing sit out there for an hour and I haven't seen a living soul. Baffling.

Wild Things software

2005-04-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

I just found the coolest free thing ever. Wild Ginger Software offers a free download for a program called Wild Things. With it you can create patterns for all kinds of hats and bags, among other things. You plug in your measurements and it creates the pattern pieces for you to print out and it includes sewing instructions. I'm going to get a ton of mileage out of this thing, for sure. Wild Ginger also sells software for drafting clothing patterns in the same manner. Anyway, here is the link to the Wild Things software: http://www.wildginger.com/downloads/WTDemoForm.htm

2005-04-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for this book to come out! The trouble with crochet is that all of the sweater designs I have seen are absolutely hideous. But I would actually wear the sweater on the front of this book. In a different color, of course. Also on the crochet front: I have received close to $50 in donations for my crochet class...which is actually closer to $40 after PayPal takes fees out. People are so nice. And my "Hookers Have More Fun!" stencil and tutorial will be up on www.crochetme.com sometime in the future. Probably in the Reviews section since there isn't really a place for non-crochet yet crochet related things on the site.

2005-04-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Liz purchased a tote bag from the Cafe Press shop I set up. So here is what one of the actual Knit Fast/Dye Yarn products looks like. It is quite nice. Sturdy and the design came out crisp and clean. Should you decide you want one, go here: http://www.cafepress.com/eyhom

2005-04-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

BFF 4-Ever

I have several pictures from the weekend that I will be posting when I get a chance.

It was a good weekend. I'll make the rundown quick.

Friday: Spent the day teaching school and running errands. Made an attempt to go to an auction with Liz but it was all shoddy goods. So we ate Chinese buffet and went to her place to watch old episodes of Knitty Gritty and Craft Corner Death Match. I really want to be on the show! I spent the rest of the night baking a birthday cake and wrapping gifts.

Saturday: We celebrated my son's twelfth birthday! This involved the regular stuff. Opening gifts, blowing out candles. Then I took him shopping to spend his birthday $$. I felt funny all day. "Whoa! I have a twelve year old!" Later, we took him and a couple of friends to the pizza buffet and then to the skating rink. I spent the rest of the night sewing and staying out of the way of the sleepover.

Sunday: Ate lunch at my favorite joint in town--Pho's Vietnamese Deli. Attended an anti-war demo that included the Wheels of Justice tour. It wasn't as great as similar events we have attended in the past, but I did learn a lot about the history of conflict and oppression in Palestine, which I am sorely ignorant about. I'm super grateful that I got to learn some about that. My puppy, Tokyo, and I got some choice spots on the local news. I'm expecting casting agents to start calling for him any minute now. Then I spent the entire rest of my evening sewing and writing. Bliss.

This picture was taken inside the bathroom stall at Jack's Skateland. I think it is terribly sweet.

2005-04-14T21:21:00.000-07:00

This is Lily Chin. She holds the record as the world's fastest crocheter. I'm just posting this because I think she is so freakin adorable.

2005-04-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

Busy, busy, busy and I am all out of toner! On my way to the copy shop to make these flyers, plus zines and transparencies and whatnot.

2005-04-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night so I made some wallets from old paperback novels. Then I added a photo tutorial to www.eyhom.com

Website Stuff

2005-04-12T12:58:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let ya'll know that the new Eat Your Heart Out, Martha! website is now up and running. Why this matters to you:

- You can purchase a copy of Eat Your Heart Out, Martha! #4 with PayPal or get other ordering info if would like to order by mail.

- You can buy my limited edition "Fuck Y'all" buttons.

- You can get a link to the Cafe Press store offering "Knit Fast, Dye Yarn" mugs, t-shirts and bags.

- I added some new stuff for you craft junkies.

www.eyhom.com

Bookmark it, baby.

Red Velvet Poop

2005-04-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

For that potluck on Saturday I brought Red Velvet cupcakes, a Greek pasta salad and a relish tray. I was informed yesterday that the Red Velvet cupcakes caused someone to have a red bowel movement. That's pretty gross. Still, it makes me want to bake another batch just to see for myself. I had never noticed before.

2005-04-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

A picture from yesterday's potluck. I think it was the first time in recorded history that 3 or more people DIDN'T bring salsa and a bag of chips to a veggie potluck. Amazing. We are getting good at this. That is my ex-husband Dave. He looks like a cowboy or a truck driver there, doesn't he? He is adorable. And single as can be. Nudge nudge. That other guy is my neighbor. He is a paramedic. Last week someone vomited blood on him! And the other day he had to explain to a mother that just because her son took a couple of pills he didn't really need to go to the hospital because he was just stoned. And then he had to explain exactly what that meant. Anyway, see how tall they are? There were about 10 other people like that. I didn't stand a chance.

2005-04-09T02:03:00.000-07:00

Today was rather good. We finished our school work early, I dropped the kidlet off at the Boys & Girls club, went grocery shopping. We put some stuff on the grill and ate on the deck. It was such a lovely day. I also made some cupcakes in tribute to my idol, Amy Sedaris. Then I gave my boyfriend a haircut and he dyed my hair. After that we played poker until my boyfriend and I decided to sneak off and go dumpster diving. I haven't been on a proper excursion since last summer! We did okay. I picked up a pile of t-shirts--my favorite one is pictured here. We got a few other odds and ends, including a foot high ceramic frog wearing a top hat. We took that over to our new neighbor's house and put it in their yard while they were out. After that we decided to rearrange the living room. I know, I know, we are so exciting on a Friday night. But we have to make room for a piano that someone gave my boyfriend. He is supposed to be getting it tomorrow morning if possible. It turned out to be a great thing, though, because for the first time in the 2 years we have lived here I actually like the living room.

By the way, the cupcakes are vanilla with buttercream frosting and coconut topping. They were inspired by this cupcake, only I didn't have any ballerina decorations. As I was making the cupcakes I was thinking about how I want to start an Amy Sedaris fan club, with a good old fashioned newsletter and everything.

My first zine making experiments revolved around a fan club, actually. When I was ten, my best friend Vicki and I started a Michael J. Fox fan club (gawd, I know, don't tell me) and we would make up newsletters with pictures we cut out of Teen Beat. We would have little bits of info about him and crossword puzzles where all the clues and answers were about him and those sorts of things. Then we'd photocopy it on her uncle's Xerox machine and pass it out to our friends.

I'm terribly tired and the threat level of rambling endlessly is dangerously high. Goodnight.

2005-04-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

The first 50 copies of Eat Your Heart Out, Martha! #4 are complete. More details later. I'm gonna have a beer now.

2005-04-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

As my grandma used to say, I've been busier than a dog with two dicks. I've been working on getting a new website up (I finally have a domain name!), trying to finish up a zine, giving the kid an edu-ma-cat-ion, picking up dog poo every other step I take and today I had a yard sale. Am I the only person that loves having yardsales?!? Unfortunately I didn't get any zany customers so it was a bit of a letdown--but I did make a hundred bucks.

Now I'm so tired I'm about to fall over. But I'm not falling over until I have some pancakes! Where is that boy that is supposed to take me out for pancakes?? It is nearly midnight.

I love SoulSeek. How often does one get to say, "Fine, go ahead and ban me, motherfucker, you aren't the only butt rocker in the world with some Quiet Riot!"

Tonight my friend Chris brought by this painting that I requested he do for me awhile back:

I don't know what to do with it yet. T-shirts? Stickers? Tote bags? I'm not even feeling the knitting anymore, but it is too cool not to do something with.

Eating pancakes alone on a Saturday night? *sigh*

2005-03-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

A couple of new bags. The larger one with the wooden handle was made using Butterick # 3873. It turned out bigger and clumsier than I wanted so it will be a knitting bag. I decided to make another with the leftover fabric using Amy Butler's "Chelsea Bags" pattern. I am infatuated with dots these days. I haven't had time to do anything else lately, but I've got lots of stuff in the works. Just you wait and see!

2005-03-23T11:09:00.000-08:00

I stayed up late last night working on what I've been calling the "lost issue" of Eat Your Heart Out, Martha. Right now I am in the lay out stages and I expect to have it finished within the week. We'll see. In the meantime I have posted some pictures of the "fashion spread" on my website: Eat Your Heart Out, Martha!
I also posted the puppy t-shirt pattern I created, with instructions. I have a couple more completed bags, as well. Photos coming soon.

2005-03-21T20:20:00.000-08:00

Today I was the cupcake fairy. Red velvet with white chocolate icing and almonds. Total yum.

2005-03-19T08:50:00.000-08:00

Refurbished knitting bag. My picture taking skillz suck.

2005-03-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

The good, the bad, and the ugly:

+ Amy Sedaris on the cover of the new issue of Bust!!

- Bad, bad Tokyo for chewing up the phone cord and making me feel like an idiot for calling tech support.

+ Thank you to the sweet cashier boy for telling me I am "probably the coolest mom in the world." Probably is close enough for me.

- The results of putting a small dish of pasta in the microwave for 20 minutes. I meant to push in 3 minutes, not 30. I don't think my house will ever smell good again.

+ Nice letters in response to my S + L column. I guess people actually do read it.

2005-03-13T22:41:00.000-08:00

What a good weekend.

Saturday morning I did some yardsaling. The first of the 2005 season! I did pretty well. I scored two nice black upholstered chairs with chrome swivel bases for $8 each that are perfect for the dining room, a two tier blonde side table that looks fab with the Ikea sofa for $4, a short round coffee table that I plan on refinishing for $5, a box of YuGiOh cards for my kid--$5--I know nothing about these but he said I got a really good deal, a swanky vintage black metal floor lamp for $2.50 and the record player you see here for $2.50. I am crazy about this thing. The pieces on the side are detachable speakers. I took a chance on it working since the seller knew nothing about it, but it did indeed work when I got it home.

I also went to an auction preview. I've been very curious about auctions and have resolved to start checking them out. It is like shopping as a competitive sport! So I went to the preview and while I didn't see anything I just had to have, there were a few interesting bits and I decided to go back to at least see the auction go down for future reference. So I reserved a couple of seats and then went home, curled up on the couch with Tokyo and passed out due to my efforts to eliminate my afternoon coffee intake. It's been hard, but I am now down to only 2 cups in the morning. Anyway, I didn't wake up in time to make it, but I will be trying again next weekend.

After waking up, my boyfriend and I made some badass homemade veggie pizza and had a candlelit dinner and a bottle of wine. I don't remember much after that.

Today I just kicked it around the house and got caught up on laundry and stuff. In defiance of living a healthier lifestyle, I had Ben & Jerry's ice cream for dinner. Rebellion tastes so fucking good.

2005-03-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

Last night I drafted a t-shirt pattern for Tokyo. I have also crocheted a model sweater to use as a guide for making more and I'll probably post some of those when I finish them. I realize this might seem very silly to others, but he gets very cold in the evening and mornings.

Paris Style

2005-03-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

A darling little Japanese pattern book: French aprons! Oooo-la-la! See it on E-Bay

2005-03-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

Tokyo after some serious trimming.

Which one of Candy's neighbors are you?

2005-03-08T05:43:00.000-08:00

Which one of Candy's neighbors are you?

That quiz Marie and I made is still up! That was over two years ago!

My, how things change. Spastic Colon Girl moved but I often see her around town. I do everything I can to not make eye contact when this happens and pray pray pray that she doesn't talk to me. Pirate Man On the Corner also moved on, to places unknown. Ken the Landlord is still living there, being the most half assed handyman that ever lived. Okay, so that didn't change. But Sam the Nose Picker got married and they are having a baby in one week.

2005-03-06T12:07:00.000-08:00

Damn it is hard to take a picture of a squirmy little puppy. Anyway, here is Tokyo. He is a fifteen week old toy poodle. Obviously he is in desperate need of a haircut. I love love love him to bits.

2005-03-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Some of the fabric I picked up yesterday.

2005-03-03T16:13:00.000-08:00

I finally broke down and purchased a ball winder off E-Bay. I kept thinking maybe this knitting thing would pass, but since it hasn't and I am doing crochet now, a ball winder seems like a reasonable investment. I think my boyfriend will agree, since he is the one that always ends up untangling the terrible messes that I make. Today I hit up a few places around town and picked up fabric, fabric, fabric. And zippers, yarn, crochet hooks and a pattern for a shirt that I already made once but want to try again because it came out too big. I seem to be having a lot of trouble with that...patterns being too large. My spatial perception is not quite right or something?

I'll take some pics of the purty fabric tomorrow.

What I have planned or in the works:

- Operation Million Pillows. I am going to make so many pillows you won't even be able to see how lame my sectional looks.
- Asian Style Blouse: Take Two. This one needs to be about two sizes smaller.
- I learned that it is not kind to make hats for other boys and other boys alone. So I need to make a hat for my boyfriend.
- A match for the Turkish Slipper I made.
- I am going to make another newsboy hat. There are a few things I would like to do differently, and I am going to come up with a new starting sequence of stitches so that it will be an original pattern. Ideally I will write this down as I am doing it so that I can share it with others.
- I have a SECRET project in mind that will combine knitting and crochet.

I could dream up more, but that is enough for now.

2005-03-03T11:54:00.000-08:00

I made these itty bitty stuffed animals last night. They are from a book of Japanese craft patterns that someone posted on Craftster. The dead bunny on the left is for my son, and the kitty with no face will be decoration on the gift I have for baby Mia. I put the pattern up at my sad little site, if anyone wants it: Eat Your Heart Out, Martha!

2005-03-01T14:47:00.000-08:00

I made this hat yesterday. It is a sort of puffy newsboy style hat. Initially I started using a pattern I found on the internet, but it came out weird and too big, so I ripped back and just made it up as I went along. I'm having a blast with this crochet stuff! It is so quick, and ripping back and starting over is no big deal at all. In the background you can see the couch I recovered and made pillows for. I'll have to take a picture of the whole thing sometime.

2005-02-27T15:11:00.000-08:00

It is rainy and I'm tired. I've been putting together zines to send to Leaving a Paper Trail distro and watching In Bad Taste, a documentary about John Waters. I have to go out into the soggy world to get dog food and things. I'd rather eat soup and sleep.

2005-02-27T13:51:00.000-08:00

From the show last night. I like the way this one turned out.

2005-02-26T11:08:00.000-08:00

This is a cabbie style hat I made for my friend Chris using McCall's pattern # 4607. My Robie Sr. is the model. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, but like always, I think it looks better in person, especially because where the plaid doesn't match on the side stands out in the picture. The pattern was decent, but I would definitely say the sizing runs large by at least one size, if not two.

2005-02-25T12:43:00.000-08:00

What's on my desk today. I do a lot of things at my desk because I sit there with my son as he works on reading and math things for school. So I generally knit or read to pass the time when he doesn't need my help. What you see here is my first attempt at following a crochet pattern. I'm making Turkish Slippers from Simple Crochet by Erika Knight. I'm using some cheapy yarn since I figure my first one is bound to be a screw up. It looks HUGE as I'm working on it, but it does seem to fit my foot just fine so I guess I'm on the right track. Underneath all that is "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale" by Jenna Jameson. Dumbest name for a book ever, but it is entertaining enough, I suppose. I have been wanting to read it for awhile and was quite surprised to see it at the local library. I have to tilt my book as I am reading so that my kid can't see her ridiculous naked knockers on every other page. That would be awfully distracting to his schoolwork, I imagine.

2005-02-24T10:43:00.000-08:00

A handbag I completed about two weeks ago. Noro wool, cotton lining, wood handles. It looks kind of mishapen and off color in this picture. It holds up better in person, I think. The thing about knitting is that it is really hard not to end up looking like a grandma or a hippie. I suppose this is why I ultimately prefer sewing.

Amazon.com: Magazine Subscriptions: Burda Moden [MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION]

2005-02-17T19:28:00.000-08:00

Amazon.com: Magazine Subscriptions: Burda Moden [MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION]

Ooooh. I want this. I love lots of Burda's patterns and it seems that they have a monthly fashion magazine that includes patterns to make everything you see in the magazine. 60 bucks, though.

2005-02-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

Mmmmm.

2005-01-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

- I just finished Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. It took me a ridicuous amount of time to read this because my boyfriend and I were reading it at the same time and he would take it to work with him at night, which is generally the time I really have to sit down and read. And...I've just been slackin. Anyway, I really liked it. But I can't stop shaking my head and saying, "These human ruins..." Or shrugging and saying, "What would Jesus NOT do?" I wouldn't call it annoying, but that is the first word that comes to mind.
See also: Broken Record

- I always feel foolish checking out or buying those "Blah Blah For Dummies" or "The Idiots Guide To Yadda Yadda" books. The thing is, they tend to be really good books. They truly are very user friendly. I've been carrying one around in my bag for weeks now. That was hard enough to admit. I'm certainly not going to say what it is about.

- I just finished and sent off my column for the #82 issue of Slug & Lettuce today. I have been on hiatus for a few issues now...I'm not really sure how many. I realized I still have issues of #81 left and tried to create a PayPal "buy it now" button so I could list it in my little store, but something is funky and it is not working. So...if you are interested in getting a copy of that just let me know. Newspaper format. This issue includes columns about the rapes that occurred at Pointless Fest in Philly, hiking in the Northern Rockies, teenage pregnancy and abortion, the band Amebix, economic emancipation, bad ass comic art by Fly and more, more, more. Also includes the usual zine, music and book reviews, free classified ads, and a pull out poster of band photos taken by the editor. This zine is FREE. You only need to pay the postage, which is 60 cents. I will gladly accept stamps if you are ordering by mail.

- Which reminds me. I want to get a book about web publishing. And body language. Recently I read somewhere about how there are seventy something body signals that indicate a person is lying. I know a few of them, but I want to know them all. And then I started thinking about how that could be sort of like possessing a super power. Not a fancy one, but still. And then I though, "Man, that is some messed up thinking, Candy. Super power? Phhht." Which got me to thinking about how a lot of wackos have probably thought the exact same thing. I decided to look up body language books using the online library catalog. There are three such books listed for my branch, two of which have been filed "lost". My suspicions were confirmed. Unstable people forget to return their library books.

- At this very moment I am felting a sample swatch so that I can knit this hat.

- Question of the day: "Mom, if a person could fly, do you think he'd get snatched by the government?" Maybe super powers do run in the family.

- Last night I had a dream that my boyfriend had lost one of his arms. He came walking up to me, beaming, and told me that he had it replaced with a wooden arm. I groaned, "Oh, honey, no!" Because what good is a wooden arm? Especially when there are so many better options, you know? But then he rolled up his sleeve and showed me his wooden arm and he had my picture and my name carved into it and then I was all, "Awww, baby!" The thing about this dream is that it is totally something he would do! If you know James then you know what I mean.

2005-01-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Random bits:

- I can't find a copy of Details magazine anywhere. What is up with that?

- There is a big glossy magazine called GolfPunk. Golf for the rest of us, you see. With a model on the cover, little skirt and tiny shirt, "Golf Punk" scrawled across her stomach with a Sharpie, all Riot Grrrl style.

- On new year's day the local paper had a review of the funniest stories of 2004 on the front page. The incident involving the guy that talked shit about my band and got a beat down for it was #3 on the list.

- On Christmas Day our family dog passed away in his sleep. He was 17 years and 3 months old. R.I.P. J.J.

- I REALLY want a stripper pole now. That looks like a lot of fun.

2005-01-01T14:32:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year.

So...we pretty much skipped out on Christmas and went on vacation to New Orleans instead.

The trip was fantastic. We did lots of goofy touristy things because it was a family vacation, afterall. Goofy tourist stuff includes: Staying at the Historic French Market Inn (we had a good room that overlooked Decatur and the river), visiting the Aquarium of the Americas + I-Max, riding the free ferry, visiting the Ripley's Believe It Or Not! museum, St. Louis No. 1 (cemetery where the VooDoo Queen is buried), the VooDoo Museum, the wax museum, riding the St. Charles streetcar, riding the riverfront streetcar, eating big fucking muffalettas, lots of walking and shopping and street performer watching, cafe au lait and beignets at the Cafe du Monde, and probably some stuff I am forgetting. Oh yeah, like smoking a hookah at the Hookah Lounge! My boyfriend and I had planned on going to a burlesque show at One Eyed Jack's, but turns out it has been discontinued. So we went to the strip clubs on Bourbon instead. The drag queens and the dancing dwarf girl were the best. We also snuck off for a walk by the river and did the nasty in a little nook while people walked by. Heh.

I took ten rolls of film, so I'll be posting some pictures when we get those developed.

We were back home in time for New Year's Eve, but by then we were all peopled out and just wanted to relax. James made me some pretty Cosmopolitans to drink and we rang in the new year by watching fireworks from our front porch...the ballpark across the road was putting on a show and it was so close I thought the burning debris was going to catch out house on fire. There are spent fireworks casings in my yard right now. It was pretty to watch, though. Then we put on some porn and did it. Heh.

2004-12-22T13:46:00.000-08:00

Accumulation!

2004-12-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

The first snow of the winter!

2004-12-21T21:06:00.000-08:00

Ahhh! I just saw Napoleon Dynamite on David Lettermen doing Top Ten Signs You Might Not Be the Most Popular Guy In High School.

Apparently N.P. Dynamite came out on DVD today. I gotta have that. Because seeing it 3 times at the theater just wasn't enough for me.

Yesterday I found out from a friend that the X-mas cards I sent out require an additional 12 cents postage upon arrival because they are square instead of rectangular(?). What the hell? So yeah, I am the tacky person that sends out dozens and dozens of cards with postage due.

I got my itty bitty circular needles in the mail and have started on a pair of leg warmers. I need leg warmers really bad. For one thing, I own more skirts than pants, so leg warmers make it possible to fully utilize my wardrobe when it is cold. Also, my boyfriend seems to find leg warmers irresistable. Leg warmers = getting laid.

I felt sorry for this doll. The auction ended yesterday and nobody wanted her...because she is dirty and little and not a name brand, I guess. So today I wrote the seller and made a deal to buy her. She is supposed to be in the mail tomorrow.

eBay item 5543806573 (Ends Dec-18-04 10:45:10 PST) - TAKARA 12" BLYTHE SUNDAY VERY BEST

2004-12-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

BLYTHE SUNDAY VERY BEST

I just bought that Blythe. My first one. I am obscenely excited. I suppose it will be next year when I get her since it is coming from Hong Kong. This wait is going to feel like forever, I'm sure.

2004-12-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

This is Candy Warhol, reporting live from my great big comfy sofa!

So, I got a laptop and it is fun fun fun.

- I was just reading this blog that Liz sent me a link to. It is one of the members of the band Vixen! Remember them? Turns out she is a knitter and has a pattern in the new Stitch N Bitch book. Right on!

- Speaking of knitting, I am eagerly awaiting the 8 1/2" circulars that I ordered from www.worldknit.com. I see a whole lotta leg warmers in my future! Hell, maybe even some socks.

- I've been half ass working on my website at: www.diystyle.tk. I have a bunch more things to post. And I am really terrible at this website stuff. I need to work on that.

- I am trying to decide if I want to participate in this whole www.gnomads.net thing. I have such a soft spot for gnomes, you know.

- I am in dollhouse hell!! I had no idea that making a dollhouse from a kit was going to be so much work. This is some seriously meticulous stuff.

- How come I can never remember how to pronounce "Amish"? I always say it with a long A and I don't know why. But, shouldn't it really be spelled Ahmish? Whatever.

- I need some new movie ideas to order from www.netflix.com. I think they should include a porn section. For real.

2004-12-11T11:47:00.000-08:00

Between sewing, knitting, and general crafting, I find myself at Hobby Lobby at least once a week. More often or not I end up dragging my son (age 11) along with me. His reward for being patient as I touch damn near every piece of fabric and skein of yarn is that we go look at the dollhouses and miniatures before we check out. He is absolutely enthralled with the miniatures. This week we noticed that the dollhouses are marked to 50% off and he asked me if he could have one for X-mas. I decided to start simple and picked out this two story, four room model that doesn't look like a complete nightmare to build. A starter house, I suppose. Anyway, it is regularly priced at $49.99. I took it to the register along with a few pieces of furniture and accesories. They don't use scanners at Hobby Lobby. The girl at the register punched in the base price for the house as $9.99, then the 50% off button. So I paid $5.00 for the house. I have no idea if she intended to do this or not, but I decided to believe that she just wanted to give us a little end of the year bonus for being such loyal customers. Yeah. Even for a small starter house, this thing has a million pieces. We will be lucky if we finish putting it together by X-mas.

2004-12-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

Bits:

- From my LiveJournal Friends list I found out about these awesome Yixing pots from China. After brewing one variety of tea for awhile, the clay absorbs the oil from the tea so that eventually you don't even need to add tea bags or leaves to brew a pot. They have some here, with more information about them.

- Last night I discovered that Bonnie Burton of www.grrl.com fame has a LiveJournal now. Who doesn't, right?

- I just received a lovely e-mail from Lara Jane regarding my zine, Eat Your Heart Out, Martha. She wrote a review of it for her website. Thanks Lara!

- I have booked rooms at the Historic French Market Inn for X-mas vacation in New Orleans. Just a few steps away from the French Market, the riverfront, and the Cafe De Munde. I'm really excited about waking up every morning to all three of those things.

- Finally, I leave you with this curious find on E-Bay: Animal Crackers In Love. Indeed.

2004-12-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

I'm sleepy and feeling random.

-Stitch-N-Bitch was good tonight, as always. Even if Liz wasn't there. It is nice to meet new people based on a common interest other than lame-o scene pretenses for a change.

-I'm still working on my holidays cards...I'm going to have to print up another batch. Sheesh! I didn't realize the list of people I care about is so long.

-It looks like I am going to participate in a "fashion" show thing. I think it is sort of silly, but I like the idea of having my sewing go in some particular direction. So now I have to decide exactly what I want to do, even though I know it is sort of crazy to take on another project right now. Anyway, the show will be at the end of January, so I have a fair amount of time to come up with some things.

-I am learning to play Texas Hold Em. I've been practicing my poker face.

-I realized the other day that I can sing just about every word to every song as they appear on the Ziggy Stardust album off the top of my head.

-If I had money coming out my ass, I would buy a bunch of Real Dolls (www.realdolls.com), dress them up and have tea parties with them. I would also live in a large home completely staffed by midgets. I have an entire list of other things, but they only get weirder.

-I'm sad that my favorite boots have been deemed unrepairable by the local cobbler. And I can't find a comparable new pair anywhere. This is fucking tragic.

-I think I wouldn't hate X-mas so much if it fell in February. That would give us enough long winter nights to get cozy and do some serious crafting.

2004-12-02T23:45:00.000-08:00

On a card that fell out from a stack of used books I recently picked up at the Snooper's Barn is a list of grievances regarding what may be the nastiest motel room in the civilized world:

12/28

Rm 217

Colapsed Wall Where tv was

Hole 1" to the next room/hadto stuff w/tolet Paper

Killed 5 Roaches

Hair & Buger in Sink

Fecies on Window sill

Dirt & Hair on Broken TP Fixture

Dirty Sheets

Missing Bath tiles & Exposed sub wall

Nails in Bath Doorway

Mildew on Curtain

Shower Curtain Held up w/ Soap

Dirty Towels Dirty Ceiling in B Room

Broken Tolet Seat

Uncovered electrical Plug

Unmarked, broken heater controls

dirty shower wall

Unsealed shower head

Front door handle loose

No Smoke Detector

Missing Bulbs in Heat Lamp in Bathroom

Loose Floor Boards

Missing Window

2004-11-29T19:26:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to post about the Thanksgiving holiday but I'm going through one of my weirdo avoidance phases when it comes to the comupter. I do this from time to time.

Anyway, it turned out to be a really nice holiday for the most part. I cooked up a great big dinner and we popped open a couple bottles of wine. I think we were all pretty silly from the sauce because when Dave spilled the containers of leftovers all over the kitchen floor (enough to keep us fed for 2 or 3 days, easily) we all just laughed like idiots and let the dogs clean up the mess. I'm surprised the dogs didn't pop open afterwards.

We had planned to participate in National Buy Nothing Day in solidarity with other folks opposed to mass consumption the day following Thanksgiving, but we woke to find that our hot water heater was leaking all over the floor and was completely shot. With all those dirty dishes in the kitchen and my desperate desire for a soak in the tub, there was no other choice but to replace the hot water heater ASAP.

Speaking of mass consumption, I'm getting more and more anxious about the holiday season. Oh, how I hate it. There is nothing that makes me sicker than so much insincerity. I'm going to resist the pressure to give gifts mindlessly out of obligation and ask that everyone around me do the same. I'd rather spend some time with my friends and loved ones just talking and enjoying each other instead of standing in shopping lines or having us all work our fingers to the bone trying to pay for it all.

With that said, one thing I actually do like to do during this time is make holiday cards. I didn't make homemade cards last year and I missed it. So this weekend I got started on some using my Gocco. I guess I need to get that finished up here pretty quick.

Of course today we started back with school just like all the other kids. We conducted science experiments and memorized poems from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories.

Other things: Desperate Housewives made me cry last night, I feel a new hairdo coming on, and I can't wait for Doris (the book) to be completed and printed so I can lock myself in my room with a copy of it.

2004-11-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

This is the little hallway where I sew. It is my happy place. I was thinking about things, and I realized that sewing and sex are the two most blissful activities I participate in these days. I don't think my boyfriend needs to know about this conclusion, though.

2004-11-19T14:16:00.000-08:00

I got my Amazon.com order in today, which contained both of the Stitch N Bitch books. I'm a bit disappointed with Stitch N Bitch Nation. While there is some information in it that makes it worth having, the patterns were a let down to me.

I also got a copy of the coveted Knit.1 magazine, which I love. There are some patterns in it that I would actually try, and I just think the magazine is really cute overall.

I've been working on my website every night and hopefully I'll be able to launch it by the end of the weekend. As long as I don't get too distracted--but I've been itching to sit down and do some serious sewing all week.

There just aren't enough hours in the day.

Built by Wendy: New York City designer of custom guitar straps & designer clothing

2004-11-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

Built by Wendy: New York City designer of custom guitar straps & designer clothing

Fantastic Amy Sedaris pictures! I particularly love the Memory Motel one.

2004-11-15T18:40:00.000-08:00

Good day. Spent hours at the library and had lunch in the park. Perfect fall weather. Got quite a bit of reading done, some note taking for various projects, a bit of knitting.

Here are the first buttons to come out of my new machine.

2004-11-14T19:34:00.000-08:00

Pretty productive weekend. I was able to work on some photographs for the next issue of my zine, get a decent start on a new website and webstore that should be open to the public in the next few weeks, recovered a sofa (I'll post pictures when I complete the throw pillows), made a great big yummy dinner, played around with my button maker, read some, and put together a bunch of copies of Eat Your Heart Out, Martha #3. Thanks for the help, Liz.

2004-11-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

Today I spent hours at the Snooper's Barn, a dusty and musty bookstore downtown. I scored vintage children's books, such as "Let's Go To a Hospital!" and a stack of these fabulous Workbasket magazines. Each issue is full of crochet, knitting, and sewing tips and patterns, plus casserole recipes, assorted craft how-to's and gardening info. Basically, it is the magazine I've been dreaming of. I need to see if this is still being published. If it is, I might as well give up the zine gig and subscribe.

2004-11-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

So for my thirtieth birthday I wanted to be left alone to stew in my misery. No presents, no fuss, let's just not talk about it, okay? That didn't happen, of course. I got a card + cash from my parents, a call from Paul last night and then today a package from him in my mailbox containing two fantastic mix CD's (I love the crayon colored cover!), an e-card and an Amazon gift certificate from Liz (yay! knitting books!), a sweet phone call from Renae, a nice e-mail and best e-card ever from Marie. And then James gave me a dozen beautiful red roses and took me to Emmy's for dinner, where he gave me a ring. Not an engagement ring, mind you. Just a lovely little ring. When we got home Dave and Kyle had a cake waiting for me--my favorite kind of cake, too! Chocolate with rasberry filling and cream cheese frosting. They also got me the cute little butter maker I've been wanting for months (plus refills). I'm stuffed and sleepy and very, very happy. Thank you all for making my thirteth birthday not so sucky. Now I'm gonna kick off my shoes, watch Hedwig and knit.

2004-11-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have been doing stuff besides making poorly constructed penis dolls. One of my goals is to learn how to use a pattern properly. Following a pattern was not something I ever thought I would want to do, but I realized that my sewing would stay pretty limited without learning to make more complex garments. I have picked up a handful of patterns for 99 cents at the local Hobby Lobby that I plan on trying soon, and I ordered the Amy Butler Chelsea Bags pattern. I completed my first handbag from that pattern--as you can see--and it was a breeze. It is a little time consuming since you are essentially constructing two bags to have one reversible bag, but I like the finished look. It makes a good little knitting bag. I planned on making another right away, but it seems that I have misplaced the pattern. I searched high and low for it last night and it just seems to have disappeared. Maybe Amy Butler designed her patterns to self destruct after they have been used once? I dunno.

2004-11-11T22:03:00.000-08:00

Umm. I don't know what to say.

sweater for a snake

2004-11-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

This weekend I finished my first knitting project. And what I mean by that is that this is the first project I started when I learned to knit a month and a half ago. I have finished other smaller and simpler scarves and even a hat while working on this piece. The very first time I ever cast on, I knew that I had to make a red and black striped scarf for my boyfriend--he's wanted one for years. I had a couple of false starts using straight needles and then double pointed needles. I wanted stripes without that weird dotted line on the underside. Anyway, I used #8 12" circular needles. The final product measures about 69 inches (not including fringe) and is about 6 1/2 inches wide. I figured that in the end the scarf is comprised of somewhere around 30,000 stitches. Yeah, I'm geeky enough to count it all up. This scarf has tormented me daily. But James adores it, and that's what it's all about.

2004-11-06T12:26:00.000-08:00

Here is the first thing I've made on my new machine while messing around with the different stitches and zipper foot. I don't know why the picture is so blurry. I tried to watch the instructional video that came with the machine, but it seriously put me to sleep. I absolutely adore the machine, though. I feel like I've gone from a beaten down old Fort Pinto to a shiny new Mercedes. If it weren't fot the needle and fast moving parts, I'd probably try to hump it.

Sew Happy

2004-11-05T11:56:00.000-08:00

Oh, happy day. The UPS truck brought me this. I doubt I will be leaving the house this weekend.

Bright Ideas

2004-11-04T20:24:00.000-08:00

Oh, how today sucked. Not as bad as yesterday, of course. Nothing can be worse than waking up to hear the news that Bush will be president for another 4 years. But today was pretty sucktastic anyway.

Today is Dave's birthday. Dave is my housemate/best friend/father of my son/ex-husband. Dave is an electrician by trade, a geek by nature. He likes building Jacob's Ladders and converting antique refrigerators into bass cabinets for fun. I got him a gift card at his favorite place to shop: Ace Hardware. And last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I had an idea. I would make him a birthday cake that resembles a light bulb! I woke up this morning all excited (I'm a geek, too) and started baking.

I am not yet used to the fact that the puppy we adopted from the Humane Society a few weeks ago is quite a bit taller than my other dog. So tall, in fact, that he can reach the countertops in the kitchen. I certainly wasn't thinking about this when I left the freshly frosted and photographed cake on the island when I answered the telephone in the living room. I returned to the kitchen just a few minutes later to find Rex gobbling up the bit of cake he could reach.

Here is Rex taking a nap after eating the cake. I was a little concerned he might get sick, like SUGAR SHOCK or something, but he seems fine.

After stomping around the house for a bit, I decided the only thing to do was go to the grocery store and pick up some things to make the cake all over again. I had a few other errands to run, so I set off. At my first stop (several miles from home) I took care of some business and was about to get back into my car when I saw a puddle of anti-freeze forming at my feet. A couple hours of stressful phone calls and waiting in a creepy Oklahoma gas station followed. By the time my car was back on the road I was beyond tired and pissed. Instead of making another cake I just came home and took a Lorcet and knitted. At least Dave got to see a picture of his cake.

Mohawks and Fainting Goats

2004-11-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

Why am I the person people call in the middle of the night for a haircut? And why do these people always want a mohawk in times of crisis? Maybe it is because I never try talk anyone out of anything. It is either none of my business or bound to be highly entertaining to watch. You want a mohawk the night before you are scheduled to go to court for public intoxication? Sure, come over.

A couple of years ago an old man knocked on my door and asked me, "Are you the girl that cuts hair?" He caught me off guard and I told him he had the wrong address. I'm still kicking myself for not saying, "Sure! Come on in!" He could have been my one paying client. I imagine a scenario where he just keeps coming back for haircuts every month for years and over time we form this surrogate grandpa/grandkid relationship and then one day he dies and leaves me his fainting goat farm or something cool like that. Ahhh, missed opportunities.

You know, that could be a t.v. show, starring me. Here's the pilot: I turn 30, have a total freak out about what to do with the rest of my life, invite the old guy in for a haircut, inherit the fainting goat farm. I'll have lots of wacky neighbors out in the country who are always dropping by with their personal dilemmas which I'll be very good at solving, yet I'm totally incapable of dealing with my own problems! Of course in the t.v. show I'll be single and all my attempts at romance will be foiled by the zany antics of my fainting goats. But I love my fainting goats, and if a man can't love me and my goats, then he ain't the man for me.

Okay. I'm going back to bed.

Test

2004-10-31T20:59:00.000-08:00